Becoming New

Recently I signed up for a wellness course from DailyOM and one of the courses talked about creating possibility, where you decide to create the possibility of something each day and work out how to achieve it.  Of course I went big and decided to create the possibility of letting go.  The possibility of moving on from my past and moving forward finally.  Of course this has a snowball effect and I realized holding on to a lot of the hurt, pain and resentment does no good in my life.  One of my New Year's resolutions was to bring in more positivity into my life and let go and get rid of the negative, so why am I still holding onto something so big and negative?  

I always thought I have already let go, forgiven, and forgotten the things of the past, but I see now that they keep coming back up whether I think about them or not.  They are still alive in the back of my mind and the root to everything I see and feel about myself.  If I want to become a healthier person, I need to address each and every one of them and finally, truly let go and move on.

Then the more I thought the more I came to the realization that there is more than just one thing that I need to let go of, and in order to do that there are so many things that I need to do first.  Sometimes we hold on things without realizing that the thing is still effecting us.  That we are still hurting after so long.  One of the first things I need to do for myself is to acknowledge those things, acknowledge that they are very real, the pain is very real and while I may let it go and move on doesn't make it okay for what has happened in the past.  But no longer allowing it effect how I respond and react to situations will make me a better person, and maybe just maybe help me become a better wife, daugher, and friend.

This is my journey to letting go and moving forward.  Creating the possibility of a postitive life, a better life, and the possibility of finally seeing value within myself.